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When Your Mom Calls You at 4am, It Can Only Mean Trouble
Written by Davinder Bisht on 1:45 AMI can't say that I am anything else but angry right now. I woke up at 2:30AM to get some work done. I procrastinated, and just when I decided that it was time to take a nap before working my mother calls at 4AM.
I prepared myself to hear that my grandmother had passed away. And then I thought, "What if something happened to my brother?". So I called my voicemail and it was my mother, "Something happened to your brother. I'm sorry for what happened. Your father has told you things.... But there is two sides to every story. I'm gonna pass on soon. God will forgive me even if you don't..."
My mother has called me 5, maybe 6 times since my dad passed away. I answered none of them. But when your mom calls you at 4AM you figure it can be only one thing, bad news. I took a deep breath and called her back. "Yes?" I wasn't angry when I said that.
I guess there is something that you should know here: My mom is the poster child for self-pity. It's never her fault, it's someone else's. And if all else fails to draw you to her side of a story, she piles on the guilt. Generally I get these type of stories and messages, before a major holiday or before her birthday. Days when she knows that I am not going to call. Days when I guess she hope that she can guilt me into calling.
My brother's wife left him with their two sons.
Then she starts telling me that I am in a long line of people who don't love her... She was abused as a child... Her mother abandoned her... She was raped by the people who my grandmother had left her to be with... She was abused by my father... My dad had been filling my head with bad stories about her.... My dad had another wife... Why do I hate her so much...
Just how much is a person supposed to take in at 4AM? How much can one person take in a lifetime? How much more of this can I take? Can't I just life my life and let her life be her life? why do I have to hear this all ... again... and again... and again....
The one thing my dad didn't do when my mom left, was say bad things about her. He's the one who had filled me in on some of the things that had happened to her growing up. He made me understand that there were reasons why she left. What he could never explain to me, was why she left. This is what I wanted to know from her, right now. Right now before I start to get angry... right now before I start to yell.. Too late, I started to yell and this is when I woke up my neighbors.
"Ma, I don't want to hear anything bad about dad, he's not here to defend himself. He never said anything bad about you and I don't want to hear it. I don't fucking wanna hear it. What I do want to hear is why you left. How can I not be angry when I had to hear stories about you being in the same city as me, but you never called us? How can I not be mad when you disappeared and I have to hear that friends had seen you but I hadn't? (I wanna tell her, I fucking hate her at this point - but I leave that part out). How can the only thing that you tell me about the period when you left be that, 'It wasn't two years'? What the hell happened during that time? I changed that day you left. The girl who people used to say "smiled too much", stopped smiling. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!?"
She started telling me the reasons again... she was abused... everyone hates her... it wasn't her fault she left... for what happened. I explained that I knew these reasons. But what I didn't know was the story of what happened from the day she left. The day I came home and saw my brother outside distraught that "ma left." How could she do that?
"Tell me what happened?"
"It wasn't two years."
"TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!"
"I never left. Don't curse at me."
"WHAT THE FUCK. You're telling me that I imagined you not being there?"
"I went into the garage and tried to commit suicide."
"But you didn't. Are you telling me that you had been in the garage for two years?"
"I never left. I went to Jamaica. Yes you imagined it" (Seriously, WTF?!)
"Ma, I love you. I'm trying not to get angrier than I am. I know you worked hard for us. I'm a strong person because you raised me that way. But I stopped talking to you years ago, because all you could tell me about when you left was that it wasn't 2.5 years -"
"I'm getting older. I have a heart problem. I'm going to die soon." She starts crying.
"Ma, I would love to have a relationship with you." I don't know if I really meant that, especially since my dad died I resigned myself to never speak to her again. I resigned myself to hearing the next thing about her was that she died. When she came back I tried to have a relationship with her. I went along like nothing ever happened, like every one else in the family. But I have to know what happened. I can't go on pretending that nothing ever happened. I want to have a relationship with her; but I want it to be based on truth.
"What happened? Tell me the story."
More excuses. More "it was everyone else". More "I never left"... More lies. "Ma I'm giving you one more chance. I have to get on with my life. I don't want my life to be stuck on pause. I have to get on with my life and if that means living without a relationship with you, because you can't tell me what happened. Because you can't take responsibility for your actions. Because you can't admit what happened, then so be it."
"It wasn't 2 years. Your brother will tell you that. I have a three way phone let's call him and find out."
"Ok, lets!"
"Not right now. It's 4 in the morning."
"No right now, because if you don't start telling me what happened this is the last time that we will be speaking."
"Not right now."
"Ma, good night."
This is not the post I wanted to be my return to blogging post. I wanted to write about how the when I revisited some of the trying episodes of my past here, the comments from the readers made me feel better. I wanted write about how I laughed at some of the funny stuff I read in the comments... how I felt consoled from complete strangers... how this blog had been my medicine and I'm glad I had it. I wanted to say thank you. I wanted to write about how everything was going well for me, and now this. I guess I can't go on pretending that my family doesn't exist. I have to call me brother. The Mad Dater - Later kids
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How To Use Body Language To Your Advantage When Dating
Written by Davinder Bisht on 12:44 PMThis is the language where you don’t need any words. Women have been doing it for hundreds of years - to attract the man they want. Becoming fluent in body language will ensure that you will be skilled in attracting the right man, and sending the get-lost signal to the wrong man.
Eyeing Up the Prize
The more eye contact you establish with the target, the better. Start with some sidelong glances. Then, begin with direct eye contact. Once he turns to meet your gaze, immediately lower your eyes and smile to yourself, this will tell him that you were watching him and are embarrassed that he caught you - a sure sign of interest. Next, be bold and try holding his stare, flashing a small, open-lipped smile.
If there is a man that is giving you the eye and you are not interested, look away from him and don`t look back at him again. When in conversation, looking at the ceiling and all around the room, also shows a definite lack of interest.
First Impressions Count
You leave your home ready to go to a party when you spot your gorgeous neighbor, and he doesn’t give you a second glance. Why? Because you aren’t dressed your best. When you enter a room, most people look to see who has come in. This is when you have to make an impression. Looking your best will make you feel your best. So make sure that before you leave your front door, look your best, and you never know you might just attract the attention of that gorgeous neighbor.
The Hand Job (no, not what you are thinking!)
Even without direct contact, your hands can send very powerful messages. There are a number of ways to convey that you want to get to know someone. Keeping your hands unclenched shows you’re open to him. Using your hands to caress objects, such as the rim of your glass, locks of your hair, or the sleeve of your blouse, in a rhythmic (as opposed to fidgety) manner, can be a sensual act. And for the braver hands, try picking fluff off his jacket, touching him to punctuate a point, or using the “accidental touch” when reaching for the salt.
Hands that are jammed in pockets, busy cleaning glasses, or balled in tight fists are all bad signs. Fingers tapping, drumming, pointing, or wagging are also signals to move on.
Stand Out
Your posture is one of the most telling signals you transmit. An open posture is evidence of an open person. Turning your body toward the man you’re conversing with, keeping your feet flat on the floor and leaning forward are actions that show interest. As well, slightly tilting your head, crossing and uncrossing your legs, and thrusting your chest forward give the message that you are interested.
As for ways to send a man packing, crossing your arms, holding a drink high in front of you, turning your body away or resting your feet on their toes will tell a person you are not interested.
A Few Extra Tips
Hopefully by now, you have an attack plan and a clear idea of when it’s time to get down and dirty, or when you’re best just to wave the white flag. Here are just a few more tips when trying to perfect your body language skills:
- You’ll know things are going really well when you begin “mirroring” one another’s body language and gestures.
- Don`t tease him by offering more than you plan to follow through. This can lead to very ugly circumstances.
- Chain smoking, being extremely intoxicated, or having eyes only for your plate of food will not put you in the best standing for the body language game.
- If you try your hand at it, and he’s not responding, abort the mission immediately.…
- Following him around all night will only serve in making you look needy and desperate.
And finally, if all else fails, buy yourself a T-shirt that reads, “Looking for Love.”
The Law of Attraction
Written by Davinder Bisht on 12:44 PMThe Law of Attraction is the universal law that can help you find your soulmate. It says that you will attract to you those people, events, and experiences that match your state of being. If you focus on having gratitude for the love, companionship, and joy you have in your life right now, you will attract more of that into your life. If you focus on what you don’t have, you will send out a message of lack and you will attract more lack into your life.
In the movie “Conversations with God” the character Neale says to God: “I just want my life back.” And God says to Neale: “You can’t have anything that you want.”
They then have an entire dialogue where God explains to Neale that by ‘wanting something (or someone)’ all you get to have is the experience, the feeling of ‘wanting’. I think there’s something to be learned from that.
As part of the preparation to manifest your soul mate I suggest that you begin the process of “living as if.” This means that your daily actions become congruent with your beliefs. For instance, I once heard a story about the great actress Della Reese. During the time she was waiting for her soul mate to arrive, she would set a place at the table for him each time she had a meal. Eventually, he arrived. Della sent a clear message to the Universe and the Universe delivered.
Many years ago, there was a woman by the name of Gayle that was advised by her astrologer to put her intentions for a soul mate into the world by coloring a mandala. She took a black & white mandala and a rainbow of multi-colored pencils and began declaring her intentions while she colored in a space on the mandala. She asked for things like: finding the perfect spiritual friend and lover to go through life with; a man who is kind to animals; someone who would appreciate her sense of humor; a man who would be accepting and open to her spiritual quest. For each intention she used a different color until the entire mandala became a multi-hued Technicolor testimony to the qualities she desired in her future partner. Within weeks of doing this she met her soul mate and they have now been married for more than 20 years!
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The Art of Flirting
Written by Davinder Bisht on 12:43 PMDid you ever see a Tarzan flick? Gotta love it! Poor Jane didn’t have time to flirt with Tarzan, at least, not until after he had successfully demolished an entire tribe, wrestled an alligator and made his famous war cry. Even then, poor Tarzan didn’t quite understand it when she lowered her lashes slightly and gave a secret little smile to him.
Flirting. Oh, but there is definitely an art to it.
I recently did an online quiz on flirting. I don’t know how I ever managed to get married. My score was in the negative to 10 points! Of course, it has been so many years since I last flirted that maybe I have forgotten how to flirt. Yes! That is the answer to my pitiful score. Why should I have to know how to flirt anymore? I have the man I want. Still, it galls me to know I did so poorly but I will get over it.
As a writer though, don’t I need to know how to let my heroine flirt? Of course I do, if that is part of her personality. Flirting can be overt, subtle or even subconscious. Some women don’t even know when they are doing it. They are natural at it. But after doing the quiz, I realized that flirting has definitely changed over the years. Especially in the past ten years.
The basic principle is the same, but a few of the techniques have become different. Two-thirds of women make the initial contact. Here are the strategies the online quiz recommended. I hope you print this because if your heroine is anything like me, she is going to need it!
1. Playing hard to get is still the smartest strategy. Men love the chase. 2. Bedroom eyes are considered alluring when the pupils are dilated. Men love big eyes. 3. Smiling at him first. Men feel more comfortable to approach. 4. Dancing alone to music. You are alone and confident. Men like that. 5. Looking at him and flipping your hair. The universal “come nibble my neck” signal. 6. “Accidentally” brushing up against him. Men react like a cat getting stroked. 7. Nodding at him first. Again, the signal that you are willing for them to approach you. 8. Licking your lips during eye contact. Oh, they know what that means and so do you. 9. Dancing with a “geek”. If a man considers you will turn him down, if he sees you dance with a “geek”, he will feel more confident.
Now, I have to tell you patting his buttocks was mentioned. Personally I have never had the nerve to be so bold, and let me assure you I am quite a bold woman. And of all things, rock climbing was considered the best choice for a first-date destination if you really, really, really want to get a guy to fall for you. Not literally, I pray.
So, when considering what your heroine should do to attract her ‘Tarzan’, remember that flirting is an art. I am sure your ‘Jane’ will do well with some of the techniques mentioned above. Just don’t have her patting his buttocks as they are rock climbing.
A Nice Story about Love
Written by Davinder Bisht on 12:43 PMI once had a friend who grew to be very close to me.
Once when we were sitting at the edge of a swimming pool, she filled the palm of her hand with some water and held it before me, and said this: “You see this water carefully contained on my hand? It symbolizes Love.“
This was how I saw it: As long as you keep your hand caringly open and allow it to remain there, it will always be there. However, if you attempt to close your fingers round it and try to posses it, it will spill through the first cracks it finds.
This is the greatest mistake that people do when they meet love…they try to posses it, they demand, they expect… and just like the water spilling out of your hand, love will retrieve from you .
For love is meant to be free, you cannot change its nature. If there are people you love, allow them to be free beings.
Give and don’t expect.
Advise, but don’t order.
Ask, but never demand.
It might sound simple, but it is a lesson that may take a lifetime to truly practice. It is the secret to true love. To truly practice it, you must sincerely feel no expectations from those who you love, and yet an unconditional caring.”
Passing thought… Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take; but by the moments that take our breath away…..
Life is beautiful!!! Live it !!!
love’s story
Written by Davinder Bisht on 12:43 PMOnce upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all repaired their boats and left.
Love wanted to persevere until the last possible moment. When the island was almost sinking, Love decided to ask for help. Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, “Richness, can you take me with you?” Richness answered, “No, I can’t. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you.”
Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel, “Vanity, please help me!” “I can’t help you Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat.” Vanity answered.
Sadness was close by so Love asked for help, “Sadness, let me go with you.” “Oh….Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!”
Happiness passed by Love too, but he was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her!
Suddenly, there was a voice, “Come Love, I will take you.” It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that he even forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went his own way.
Love realizing how much he owed the elder and asked Knowledge, another elder, “Who helped me?” “It was Time,” Knowledge answered. “Time?” asked Love. “But why did Time help me?” Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, “Because, only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is.”
Newton’s laws of LOVE
Written by Davinder Bisht on 12:42 PMFirst law:
A boy in love with a girl continues to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy continues to be in love with him, until and unless any external agent(brother or father of the girl) comes into play and breaks the legs of the boy.
Second law:
The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to his bank balance.
Third law:
The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals.
Universal law:
Love can neither be created nor be destroyed, it can only be transfered from one girlfriend to another girlfriend.
Dating Rules For Women
Written by Davinder Bisht on 12:41 PMIn another dating article on this site you will find a general set of rules than men should follow when dating. In the same way women have some general rules that they should content with when entering the dating jungle. Now I know everyone is different so don’t take things too seriously here. There has been some controversy over some literature published recently in the USA that sets out in detail the rules a woman should follow to get her guy (or woman). Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider’s 1995 bestseller “The Rules,” explains how women should play hard if they want to get their guy. I can understand why some groups would be hostile but the fact is when we grow up there are a predefined set of dating rules. All that happens is that we forget most of them after the age of 21 and then find we need to relearn them.
I wish there weren’t any general rules and we just got on with it but courtship is a ritual; there are things that we make happen that excite stimulate, create interest, confound etc. Dating is a long test of compatibility. Are we perfectly matched? If we just threw ourselves together then the chances of long term happiness may be reduced. And yet previous generations managed to succeed on a far less complex courtship criteria list. Many arranged marriages work too interestingly.
In every society there are a predefined set of social rules we follow, from the way and timing of eating to the way we behave in public. The issue here is that when women date there are things that can help them be more successful. If we accept that dating is a game then there are rules to that game and winners and losers. If you know the rules in advance it gives you a head start. If men know the rules by which you are playing you may change the rules to suit the situation to keep the man guessing. Men love a challenge so feel free to adapt rule and add them as you feel inclined.
You can separate rules out into two parts, dating and online dating. Both areas have distinct rules that a woman should follow for dating success.
General Dating Rules
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Always look great, whatever your income. Gorgeous hair and some lipstick and wearing rags will still turn his head. You have the advantage, you are the woman. Look your best as you could meet a potential Mr. Right anywhere at any time.
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Never reveal information you don’t have to. An enigmatic woman drives men wild.
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Keep dates brief but your men interested. Less is always more.
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Try and stay in shape and involve some fitness regime at a gym. However much you hate it, your Mr. Right loves your body as much as your mind.
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Let your man pay. If he is interested, he is interested enough to ensure you eat well and get home safely in a cab.
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Ensure you receive flowers, if he doesn’t know what a florist is, dump him.
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Never ever sleep with a guy until he has fallen for you. Sex early in your dating game plan will ruin everything.
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Always keep a guy waiting and never turn up early. It is a lady’s perogative.
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Never be available when he wants you to be. Never be at the end of a phone when he calls and always let him leave a message or two first before replying.
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If he is available Tuesday, you are available Thursday.
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Weekend shopping trips with girlfriends are sacred and not available for dates.
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Keep your man standing on quicksand by shifting landmarks and goalposts constantly.
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Ensure you are a good kisser. Men will walk away if you cannot kiss. Practise on a mirror if you have to.
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Never ever talk about previous boyfriends and particularly their prowess in the bedroom. The number of ex boyfriends is your business only.
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Never pre suppose anything about your date until you choose to know him better. You cannot always tell by looking
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If any man shows the slightest signs of possessiveness or insecurity run like the wind. Life is too short for boys.
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If his shoes or hygiene are a disgrace dump him
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Never talk too much about your father and how your date measures up in comparison.
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Never ever come across as too available or too desperate, he will run a mile. He is the one doing the chasing remember.
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If the guy in the corner is gorgeous go and get him and create the need in him for you. Never wait for men to come to you because you may watch him leave with someone else.
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You may well have all the bodily functions of a man, just try not to demonstrate them early on.
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If you are wanting a child, don’t mention it on the first few dates.
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Never ever criticize his mother unless you want to remain single.
Online Dating Rules
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Always let them come to you, don’t chase via email
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Block anyone who annoys you instantly
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Place the best & most vampish photo up you can find
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Don’t reply to instant messages with clever opening lines
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Remain aloof and let yourself be chased
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Always reply to emails at least 3 days after receipt
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Never provide you true email or phone details to the man
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Always date safely and protect yourself at every turn
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Make sure your login name is stunning and sexy as well as enigmatic
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Do not login for hours on end. Short, rapid visits are best
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Do not assume the man you are talking to is destitute or sad
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Never ever reply to emails at weekends, wait until a weekday
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Never state how good your sexual performance is in your profile
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If you don’t want to date married men spell it out in your profile
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A man who doesn’t reply to your email within 3 days should be ignored
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Make sure your humor levels come across in text
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Do not chat to hundreds of men at once, the delay in replying is a dead giveaway and your Mr. Right will be off.
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Don’t even think about misrepresenting your size or description. They will find out.
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Come across as cool and sophisticated for best results
Always remember ladies that you are a sexy desirable woman and the world is your oyster. Always let men do the chasing and always let yourself be the chooser. Always stay safe and never risk yourself for the sake of attending a date. Always use a safe dating website like LoveBrowser.com
10 Most Romantic Tips
Written by Davinder Bisht on 12:39 PM1. Spread rose petals all over the bedroom.
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2. What could be more classic than a fine gold locket with your photo inside? (Maybe a photo of the two of you.)
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3. Bring home one small, unexpected gift each week.
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4. Write a classic, romantic, passionate, handwritten, heartfelt love letter. Most adults haven’t written a love letter since high school. (Why not? Have we lost our youthful idealism, or have we just gotten lazy?)
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5. When traveling, give your partner a bouquet of roses; one rose for each day that you’ll be away. Attach a note that says something like this: “These three roses represent the three days I’ll be away from you. They also symbolize the love, joy, and laughter we share together.”
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6.Say “I love you” at least one times a day.
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7. Guys: Surprise her by performing one of her chores for her. (And not something easy like carrying the groceries in from the car, but something that requires some time and effort — like cooking all the meals over a weekend, or cleaning the entire house.)
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8. Ladies: Send him a letter sealed with a kiss. (Use your reddest lipstick.)
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9. Hold hands.
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10. On your yearly romantic checklist, make plans for Valentine’s Day — well in advance!
What, Do You Think Tough Girls Don’t Cry Too?
Written by Davinder Bisht on 12:37 PMDon’t think that behind our tough girl image we aren’t still girls. Do you think our hearts don’t break also? Do you think we don’t need your shoulders to cry on… too? 
Behind the woman drinking shots with you, behind the woman paying for your lap dance at the strip club, behind the woman talking shit to you while beating your ass at poker is a woman who is just as vunerable as the next chick. Behind our tough girl act is still a girl who wants to be loved and cherished and told how beautiful she is like every other girl.
We lean over toilets and purge the pain like other women. We stand in the mirror and find all the little things we hate about ourselves to bear witness to the pain that we feel inside like every other woman. We drink away the pain behind smiling faces and we date men who are wrong for us. We forget to take our pills and pray that we won’t be pregnant by Not The One as we stand in our bathrooms holding pee stained sticks.
Basically, we fuck up too.
We want to be the prettiest. And even when we are The Prettiest Ones we wish to be prettier, funnier, cooler, smarter, just anything more than we are now. Because like other women we think something must be missing, or our lives would be perfect. And even though others look at us and think that we have it it all under control, we know deep down that something is missing.
While we may never watch Lifetime and you’ll never find us in the Chick Lit section, we worry about breast cancer and our reproductive time clocks too. And even when we say we don’t want husbands and kids, sometimes we stand in line behind that shopping cart with the happy family and unruly kid who is about to steal something and secretly think, “I want that some day”. But we brush those thoughts out of our minds in favor of reading the latest gossip. Because other people’s problems are easier to deal with than our own.
We cry and hurt like every other girl. And I cry too. And I need that shoulder to cry on. And even when I say I am ok, I may not be. I just find it hard to ask for the things that I really want… like everyone else. Like every other woman. The Mad Dater - Later kids
Meeting Women The Importance of Focusing to Seduce Women
Written by Davinder Bisht on 12:36 PMLet us get one thing straight, without focus your chances to seduce women is a pretty low one.
What you think about and focus on is, inevitably, what you are going to get out of life. You have to think about new ideas, new goals and new women, or your mind and behavior will exhibit the old ideas, patterns and people.
If you don’t focus on and visualize the woman of your dreams and imagine ways of meeting her all the time, then you’ll probably end up meeting someone who resembles your last girlfriend, or worse!
Visualize how you’re going to seduce women before you even meet women.
Avoid thinking about what you don’t want. If you think about not wanting a boring lazy woman, and you focus on that, chances are you’ll be meeting more of them than any other kind of woman.
You must FOCUS on what you WANT in order to GET what you WANT. This applies to all aspects of your life not just women. If you just focus on obstacles you come across, instead of your ultimate goals, you’ll continue to have setbacks! You have to focus and think about what you want all the time.
Your First Impression
Within three minutes of meeting a woman, she woman will evaluate you, judge you and stereotype you by your first impression. Despite this being an unreasonable way to judge a person, women do this to almost every man she meets.
Make those first crucial minutes work FOR you, not against you. What is communicated and observed during your first few minutes meeting a woman will dictate your future relationship with that woman: you may become friends, lovers, or possibly remain strangers.
We are all guilty of judging others based solely on their physical appearances, and our personal prejudices and shortcomings. As shallow as that may be, it’s true. You must use this judgment period to your advantage. This time is your most valuable opportunity to portray your most attractive qualities. The best way to make your first impression work for you is to adjust your physical appearance for greatest results.
Keep in mind focus is all it takes if your goal is to meet and seduce women.
KISSING TECHNIQUES
Written by Davinder Bisht on 12:34 PMThe first kiss is the clincher. You’ve been locking eyes all night, even spun each other across the dance floor, and now as the song ends you pull her close for that first kiss. Will it be fireworks? Will it be a dud?
Kaput. Yep, that was a dud.
How can you guarantee that the chemistry will happen when you lock lips for the first time?
You can never guarantee anything in life or love, but you can certainly up the chances of a favorable response by honing up on your kissing technique. Fabulous kissers aren’t as common as you may think. This chapter will tell you some of the common pitfalls and give you some tips to develop those lips women will die for.
1. Practice, practice, practice.
If you’ve never kissed anyone before, you may not have an intuitive grasp of great kissing technique. Many people—male and female alike—begin their kissing careers as children, imaging that their pillow was their desired partner and covered it with kisses.
Needless to say, real lips are a good deal different from cotton fabric. Some people practice their kissing on ripe fruit, like sensuous, squishy mangoes. Lest this give you freaky “American Pie” flashbacks, remember that kissing practice is healthy and not at all abnormal.
2. Practice good mouth hygiene.
You may think your mouth is clean as a whistle, but a dentist would be able to tell you what you had for breakfast that morning. That’s because the mouth traps food odors more than people realize. If you have onions or garlic for lunch, your date may very well be able to taste it in your kiss that afternoon.
Great kissers know that tasting alcohol, coffee, or food on someone’s breath is a huge turnoff. Make sure you always brush your teeth, floss, and use mouthwash before you go out. Avoid any strongly-flavored food or drink before kissing, and always carry gum or mints just in case.
3. Relax and let yourself go.
Stress, anxiety, and self-consciousness make us awful kissers. If we’re not even sure we like the person we’re kissing, our lips turn tense and unyielding.
You can tell a lot with a kiss. When you’re upset, your lips get tight, and the person you’re kissing can tell. If you’re inexperienced and trying too hard, your kissing partner will be able to notice as well.
So the most important part of kissing is being totally into the person you’re with and wiping all distractions from your mind. Wipe anything from your memory but the moment. Let your inhibitions dissolve (including any self-consciousness about your ability as a kisser) and relax. Sweep her into your arms, and you’ll find yourself naturally kissing like a movie star.
4. Take it slow.
During a first kiss, one of the biggest mistakes you can make is going for it with the full body press. First kisses should be light, short, and soft. When you break away, move her hair away from her eyes with your fingers, then search her eyes to see how she is feeling.
A little eye contact is a powerful thing while kissing. Often, the only way you can see one another is to break the kiss. Yet pulling back gives you an opportunity to see how the other person is doing, reassure one another that you’re both experiencing the same feelings, and allow a change of pace. So, as you’re kissing, take breathers to pause, hold her face in your hands, and search her eyes.
5. Vary your kisses.
If you’ve never kissed this particular girl before, then you don’t know whether she likes her kisses hard or soft, full-mouthed or gentle, on her lips or elsewhere. Your first kissing session should always be exploratory. Start out by keeping your mouth closed and brushing your lips against hers in a rubbing motion. Kiss her very gently, then back off just a fraction; with your lips in such agonizing proximity, just breathe so that she can feel the warmth of your breath against her skin. If she’s quite responsive, try upping the intensity with full-mouthed kisses. Don’t feel bad about having to break away to breathe or swallow saliva, as she probably has to do the same. Try sucking on her lower lip or running a finger along her jaw or the back of her neck as you kiss. If she’s still responsive, then—and only then—should you try a French kiss. Lick your way along her lips before trying to insert your tongue so that she has the chance to decide whether she’s up for it or not. For some women, French kissing is almost as intimate as intercourse. If she breaks away at that point, don’t try anything further.
The important idea here is to vary the kinds of kisses you use until you find the one that turns her on. This also keeps kissing from being boring.
6. Use your hands.
Use your hands to lightly trace the line of her jaw or clench hair at her nape. Run your fingers through her hair or caress her shoulder. Rest one hand on her lower back, and pull her to you. Remember that kissing should stimulate all the senses, but don’t forget Rule #7.
7. Never use the kiss as an excuse to do other things.
The first time you kiss a woman, enjoy the kissing for its own sake, NOT just as a prelude to going to bed with her. Just because she’s given you a kiss doesn’t mean that she’s given you permission to sleep with her, so DON’T try to take it to the bedroom from the moment your liplock breaks. A kiss should never be used as an excuse to touch her anywhere she doesn’t want to be touched. Avoid the breasts and buttocks unless you’re sure that she wants your hands to wander there.
8. End with a cuddle or hug.
The problem with kisses is that they often end too soon. Extend the moment by enfolding her in your arms for a hug or giving her a cuddle. You might want to break the intensity of the mood by being playful or silly or even tickling her. A little laughter will make her feel even more bonded and connected to you, and she’ll want to see you again fast.
Kissing TIps | Dating FundaWhy Friendship and what is need of friendship
Written by Davinder Bisht on 12:33 PMWhy we need friendships when we have a lovely life in this world.
Why we need friends in our life.
Well friends, this is a tedious question to answer. Lets see each questions.
Why we need friendships?
Friendships are the gift to the man kind. The relation which we get in this world are blood related. But the only relationships which doesnot related to blood is friendship. Friendship has many forms and shapes. It is like water. If we pour the water into a jug it takes the shape of jug. if you pour the same water into a bowl it takes the shape o bowl. Sameway friendships will take a different shapes and sizes according to our heart. Friendship gives pleasure to human beings. Where there is friendship then there will not be any sorrow. When you see a child laughing you will forget your sorrows for a second, sameway when you are with a friend you forget your sorrows.
Friendships crosses boundries
The world is rotating smoothly because of the friendly hearts in the world. it crosses boundries and share a mutual bonding of love. Friendships will take care of this entire world from problems. If we are friends then our countries will, when our countries are friends then there is not need of weapons. So take weapon named friendship and love and conqure the world with love.
Friendships saves life
Trusted true friendships never makes others down. it helps a lot to make friends to comeup from the situation. Friendships never expect anything in return for all its offering. It saves life without looking into situation.
Lets get friendship and let’s BEPenfriends.
Why we need friends & friendships?
Friends comes with friendships, They are the channel of love and affection. Friends are like child’s heart which doesn’t know wrong thinkings. When there is a friend with us we feel secure, happy, huge support, and comfortable which you can’t get from others.
So Lets get some real friends in this world. and lets Be Friends.